“Dude, she wants to know my whereabouts at all times. I’m a grown man. What do I look like checking in?”
“Man, she had the nerve to tell me that she was tired of my mom being in our business. She wanted me to pick between her and my mom. Really?”
If you’ve said or thought any of these statements recently, you don’t want to be married. If you are already married, I’m praying for you. If you’re not married and end up getting married, you won’t be married for long. If your “marriage” does last a long time, it won’t be happy marriage. Now I know several of you who are reading this are saying, “I disagree.” However, those above statements were not just statements that I’ve conjured up. Real men who were having marital problems spoke those words to me. A few have since divorced. Why did they divorce? I’m glad you asked. It is my humble opinion that they didn’t really know what marriage was all about. So, those conversations have caused me to put together a little list of 5 reasons why you don’t want to be married.
You Are Selfish
I’m not talking about the kind of selfishness that drives you to spend time in the gym. That selfishness is actually good if it’s not abused. You are supposed to make your health a priority. What I’m talking about is when you think of yourself, your needs, and your wants first. I’m talking about the kind of selfishness that makes you want to keep all of your money separate so that you can spend it however you want to. If the decisions you make only revolve around your happiness, you don’t want to be married.
You Hate Accountability
Of course she wants you to check in. You get off work at 5:30 and it is now 6:30. It only takes you 10 minutes to get home. If you don’t want her to be worried that you are 50 minutes behind your regular schedule, check in and let her know that you’re working late. If possible, give her the new time you expect to be home. If you can’t ever do that, don’t be surprised when she stops trusting you. If you think she’s being unreasonable or it hurts your pride as a man, you’ve proven that you don’t want to be married.
You Only Want Sex
One of the privileges of marriage for a true Christian is guilt-free sex. God actually desires married couples to have sex often. However, if the driving force behind you wanting to get married is sex, you really just wanted “God approved” sex. You don’t want to be married.
You Want a Roommate
The cost of living is high these days. It sure would be nice to be able to split the bills between two incomes. She’s a hardworking, go-getter. As a Christian, you really don’t want to put yourself in the path of temptation by simply moving in together. You just believe that life would be so much easier if you did. I’ve said this in an article before. It’s important enough to reiterate. If this is you, you want a heavy load sharer. You don’t want to be married.
You’re Already Married
Your mother is a wonderful woman. She should be respected. Her opinions should be valued (to a certain extent). This may make several people uncomfortable, but here it goes. If her voice holds more weight in your life than your wife’s voice, you don’t want to be married. If you would die for your mom, but think twice about leaving your woman in harm’s way, you don’t want to be married. In fact, you are already married TO YOUR MOM!
Romel Gibson is a youth and college pastor, mentor, community leader, motivational speaker, musician, and songwriter living in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He serves as a full- time Campus Life Director with Youth for Christ, one of the largest non-profit youth evangelism ministries in the world. As a songwriter, his most notable works include L. Spenser Smith and Testament (Greater, Surgery), Tonya Baker (Miracles), The Anointed Pace Sisters (Praise and Worship), Myron Butler (Changed), Marvin Sapp (Never), Ruben Studdard (Holding On To You Lord), and Johnny Gill (Black Box).Romel has been married for 12 years to his college best friend Quanedra. Together they have been blessed with three beautiful daughters; Allayna Pilar, Moriah Kelis, and Rylee Addison.