There are single Christian women around the country who are a tad bit confused. Many of them desire to be married. They have been taught that Christian men are looking for good, wholesome, Christian women to marry. They have been taught to dress in modesty and wholeheartedly submit themselves to the Lord. They have been taught that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. So, many of them have been preparing themselves to be wives. They have somewhat been in hiding, faithfully serving the Lord, mentally preparing themselves to be able to submit to their future husbands, and waiting on “Boaz” to find them. What’s wrong with that? Why did I say they are confused?
Well, while Christian women are praying that God would send more men to the church so that they can have a better chance at being found, many of them are starting to realize that who they have been working to be is not necessarily what most Christian men are looking for. Questions began to arise when film executive and Seventh Day Adventist Pastor, DeVon Franklin and actress Meagan Good married in 2012. Why were there questions? I’m glad you asked. In her adult career, Meagan has been known as a sex symbol. Although she was not raised as a Christian, but very much so professes to be one now, there has been controversy around her wardrobe choices of which many have said are not appropriate for a pastor’s wife to wear in public. In 2013, she was criticized for her sexy, form-fitting, blue dress with the plunging neckline that she wore to the BET Awards. Most recently, she was called out during a panel discussion by a woman who was disappointed by the amount of cleavage Meagan showed on a magazine cover. This woman deemed it her responsibility to teach Meagan that what she now speaks (as a Christian) and shows (as a sex symbol) are contradictory to one another. Her husband spoke up in her defense by assuring the woman that Meagan can wear what she wants.
If that wasn’t enough, here comes the recent announcement of the engagement of Seattle Seahawks’ quarterback Russel Wilson to R&B singer, Ciara. Have you ever heard Ciara’s music? Have you ever seen her dance? Neither is a suggestion from me that Ciara is not a Christian. After all, “who are me” to judge? On behalf of everyone reading, I will say that it is highly likely that Ciara’s commitment to the Lord was not what initially attracted Russell. After all, the Bible does say that man looks at the outer appearance, but God looks at the heart. Amid the news of their engagement, Christian women across social media began suggesting that perhaps their approach has been all wrong. Jokingly, a few said that they were going to learn how to twerk since that’s obviously what even the Christian men are looking for. I’ll admit that the broad generalization bothered me. I didn’t want to admit that there could be some truth to this theory. Then, along came another couple.
Famed Praise and Worship singer and songwriter Israel Houghton is now dating actress and talk show host Adrienne Bailon. The news spread as pictures of their recent vacation in Mexico surfaced. Although Adrienne does not subscribe to the notion of being a stereotypical Christian, she has publicly professed her faith in God. She’s hasn’t built her career off sex appeal like the other two. Nonetheless, even if she and Israel became genuine friends and so many things other than the exterior attracted Israel to Adrienne, I assure you that he is not complaining about seeing up close and personal what we’ve only seen via internet photos. These three scenarios and the comments I have personally heard concerning them have prompted me to speak to the men in our viewing audience.
Times have changed! Long gone are the days of looking for a woman who can cook. These days, men can cook for themselves. We’ll go out to eat every day if need be. Listen! Tell women the truth. Sex appeal matters. Most Christian men will not be as comfortable with their women showing parts of their goods (no pun intended) in public as DeVon Franklin, but we definitely desire her to have the goods. There is nothing anti-Christian about that.
Realistically, your model won’t be a model forever. Bodies will change. Beauty will fade. We need mates who are equally as attractive internally as they are external. That’s the only way the relationship will stand the test of time. This reality will not only help Christian men to pursue the God option beyond the “bod” option, but it will dispel this notion that sex appeal is all that matters.
Am I wrong? Is sex appeal all that matters? Let’s have a conversation. Let me know your take on this subject.
Romel Gibson is a youth and college pastor, mentor, community leader, motivational speaker, musician, and songwriter living in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He serves as a full- time Campus Life Director with Youth for Christ, one of the largest non-profit youth evangelism ministries in the world. As a songwriter, his most notable works include L. Spenser Smith and Testament (Greater, Surgery), Tonya Baker (Miracles), The Anointed Pace Sisters (Praise and Worship), Myron Butler (Changed), Marvin Sapp (Never), Ruben Studdard (Holding On To You Lord), and Johnny Gill (Black Box).Romel has been married for 11 years to his college best friend Quanedra. Together they have been blessed with three beautiful daughters; Allayna Pilar, Moriah Kelis, and Rylee Addison.