Yes, BUTTTTTTTT only if it is done properly.
We are now living in a meme society. Many are looking for that saying to get the most likes or retweets. Yes, these sayings are great BUT if one is not clear how to implement them, it can become a huge problem. For example take prayer: This year my inbox has been filled with individuals who pray with their spouses but get angry or argue afterwards. In some cases, one spouse becomes more frustrated with the other for various reasons when they want to pray. Instead of addressing this with them, they reach out for assistance on how to bring this up to their spouse. Who wants to argue with God and address how one prays to him?
Why is this happening? Glad you ask.
1. Negative Prayers – Using prayer to get a negative point across that is directed at your spouse.
“Lord, help my wife to gain the wisdom to be on time and Dear God, please help her to see how this is affecting me in our marriage.”
Lord, help me to not become frustrated with my husband not picking up behind himself, please give me the strength to deal with this and help him see how this is affecting our marriage.”
These are actual prayers that I received from a spouse complaining about the other. They were furious. These SHOULD be personal prayers NOT one to make together.
2. Marathon Prayers – Yes, praying too long as a couple and Yes, competing subconsciously or trying to impress one another or the kids. Scripture tells us to give”preference to one another,” not dominate or control others Rom. 12:10. This is not the time to impress.
3. Judgments about style – Yes, one lady told me that that her husband doesn’t know how to pray. I asked her to give me an example. She stated that” he prays like white folks” and then said “you know, as if he is talking to God directly and I can’t feel that type of prayer.” God is NOT looking at your style or impress with your style. He is impress with your heart.
Couples that pray together in these manners and with these issues or attitudes usually do NOT stay together or struggle more.
Here is the key: Keep your prayer time together short, long prayer times as a couple are often ineffective contrary to popular beliefs. Pray for the marriage, regularly thank God for the spouse He has given you, and for the gift of your marriage. Keep it personal about you and even your weakness. This is so that you spouse knows what to pray about during their personal time. Ask God to bring growth and even healing to your marriage. Be heartfelt and loving in your prays so that the meme above will be true in your marriage.
I’m addressing this subject because it is an issues in many people of faith marriages. We can do better.
One of America’s favorite love mentor and relationship experts, Phil is often referred to as the “Black Dr. Phil”. An author, writer and certified strategic interventionist, marriage educator, and relationship coach . Phil’s work involves taking his clients from where they are to where they want to be in their relationship. Since 2000, Phil has been writing relationship tips for magazines, blogs and other platforms serving over 100,000 members.