Judging by the article I wrote last week: “Climax Without the Covenant: Pornography and the Church,” conversations about sexuality are hot topics. I received a few personal messages from individuals who thanked me for being bold enough to write about topics that really need to be discussed. A few others even told me that the struggle was simply “their struggle” until they read my article. Their minds toward it have graduated from “God understands” to “God desires more from me.” Now, they are putting things in place to work to overcome the urge to continue engaging in the thing that disappoints God. Those kind of testimonies encourage me to continue pushing the envelope.
The more I analyzed the subject of sexual impurity, the more I realized why it is such an issue within the church. On one hand, there are people who claim to be Christians, but they don’t believe that the Bible is our authority and we are to live by the scriptures contained within it. On another hand, there is a misappropriation of the grace message. So, although some believe that they’re supposed to live according to the Word of God, they have varying opinions about what that really means. Although I haven’t even come close to exhausting the topic of porn, I decided to take things a little bit further and move from talking about watching sex to actually having sexual intercourse.
I was born in Chicago, Illinois. When I was in middle school, my family relocated to Alabama. It was in Alabama where I would, for the first time, see many of my under-aged cousins and friends driving cars. I knew it was illegal. However, I was in amazement at how much they knew and how well they could drive at their age. A few of my cousins could even drive five and six speed manual shift cars. I remember asking one of them how he learned to drive so early. Keep in mind that we were twelve or thirteen years old then. He replied, “You learn how to do what you’re always around. Everybody in our family drives transfer trucks. Everybody is an auto mechanic. Everybody knows how to drive tractors and bulldozers. We work in the woods. So, we just learned how to do what everybody else was doing. I can almost drive anything. I learned how to drive years ago.” That phrase stuck with me. You learn how to do what you’re always around.
I found that statement to be true. My father is a musician. Because I was always somewhere with him around music, being a musician was just in me. Consequently, I’m a musician to this day. What is my point? As it relates to sex, many single Christians have adopted this “Even though I don’t have a license, I’m going to drive” mentality. Why? It’s because most single Christians around them are doing it. They say things like, “Every single person around me is doing it so it must be okay right?” In 2014, ChristianMingle and JDate released a survey where 2,647 single Christians between the ages of 18- 59 were questioned. Out of the 2,647 Christians, 61% said it was okay to have sex before marriage. 23% said it’s okay if they are in love. 5% say yes to sex, but only after they’ve been engaged. Only 11% said no person should have sex before marriage. That means that 89% of those surveyed had some kind of scenario that made premarital sex permissible. Here’s Why!
They Have a Warped View of the Bible
Christians are supposed to be believe that the Bible is the authoritative Word of God. This means that whatever the Bible contains has authority for my life. I should be working to do what it says. However, so many Christians nowadays have chosen to believe that there are elements of the Bible that we are not obligated to adhere to. The subject of sexual morality is one of those elements.
They Have Misinterpreted Scriptures
Oftentimes, people use scriptures to make them fit the lifestyle they desire to live. They say things like, “Since the Bible says God is love and I love the person I’m with, God approves of us having premarital sex. Really? Ok then.
They Have Misappropriated Grace
Just because grace is available doesn’t mean we should abuse it. Romans 6:1-2 asks and answers a very important question. Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Answer: By no means! Just because grace is available and you know God will forgive you doesn’t give you sort of a “learner’s permit” to drive without actually having to have a license.
Romel Gibson is a youth and college pastor, mentor, community leader, motivational speaker, musician, and songwriter living in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He serves as a full- time Campus Life Director with Youth for Christ, one of the largest non-profit youth evangelism ministries in the world. As a songwriter, his most notable works include L. Spenser Smith and Testament (Greater, Surgery), Tonya Baker (Miracles), The Anointed Pace Sisters (Praise and Worship), Myron Butler (Changed), Marvin Sapp (Never), Ruben Studdard (Holding On To You Lord), and Johnny Gill (Black Box).Romel has been married for 12 years to his college best friend Quanedra. Together they have been blessed with three beautiful daughters; Allayna Pilar, Moriah Kelis, and Rylee Addison.