I read a book authored by Pastor Thomas Key entitled: “Drugs, Lust, and Hip Hop- The Guide to Reaching Teens on Their Turf.” It’s a short book (only 83 pages), but it does contain some information that has had me thinking ever since I put the book down. Amid the popular subjects discussed in the book comes perhaps the most popular subject of any generation- Chapter 6 “Birds and Bees, Honey and Trees.” T. Key talks about the way teenagers view sex. He highlights that most Christian parents teach:
That’s usually the full extent of Christian parental teaching on sex. Although all three of these reasons are legitimate reasons to not have sex before marriage, I like the fact that T. Key highlights that there are so many varying views as to what “having sex” even means. It is clear that most will conclude that vaginal penetration is having sex. However, so many more don’t view oral sex or masturbation as sex. This leads me to the prevailing question for this article.
Where is this mindset coming from? What do today’s Christians think about sex? Do most unmarried, Christian adults believe that it is permissible to engage in oral sex or masturbation? Furthermore, is there anything in scripture that makes it permissible for unmarried Christians to engage in sex? I pray that the Christians reading this would say no. Sex is intended for marriage. However, one of the major problems we face in today’s society is that many Christians are looking for loopholes. What do I mean by loopholes?
Loophole- a means of escape or evasion; a means or opportunity of evading a rule, law, etc.
What’s the loophole to having sex? I read a recent article that suggests that times are much different than they were when the Bible was written. I agree. In the Bible days, marriages were often arranged. People tied the knot so much earlier. They often married in their teens. To validate that point, my grandparents married in their teens. In all honesty, my parents were only 18 and 19 when they got married. Today, the median age is said to be around 27 for women and 29 for men. It is not uncommon to be well into the 30’s. Well, the article suggests that the teenage years are the years when the hormones are the hardest to control. That’s why they married young. Furthermore, as more Christians are waiting 10 years or more beyond high school to get married, they are faced with a tougher challenge of abstaining from the very thing that they have the greatest desire to do. To add to this. The desire comes from God. Hmmm! It is not uncommon for Christians in their 20’s to reevaluate their beliefs to see how faith fits into their evolving worldview. Many have concluded that the traditional Biblical teaching on maintaining virginity is antiquated and not intended to be kept in today’s culture. So, they believe that Jesus is the son of God. They believe God raised Him from the dead. They believe that by confessing that Jesus is Lord and believing it in their hearts, they’re Christians. It’s just that abstinence until marriage is not a part of that Lordship. You should definitely know that there is more to say about this subject. There will definitely be a part two to this article. As for now, hit me up and let me know what you think.
Romel Gibson is a youth and college pastor, mentor, community leader, motivational speaker, musician, and songwriter living in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He serves as a full-time Campus Life Director with Youth for Christ, one of the largest non-profit youth evangelism ministries in the world. As a songwriter, his most notable works include L. Spenser Smith and Testament (Greater, Surgery), Tonya Baker (Miracles), The Anointed Pace Sisters (Praise and Worship), Myron Butler (Changed), Marvin Sapp (Never), Ruben Studdard (Holding On To You Lord), and Johnny Gill (Black Box).Romel has been married for 12 years to his college best friend Quanedra. Together they have been blessed with three beautiful daughters; Allayna Pilar, Moriah Kelis, and Rylee Addison.