Last night I slipped into a deep depression. The type of emotional shutdown that caused me to feel death or prison could be the better option. I was overtaken by thoughts of pity for myself, I began to mourn the years I felt I lost to life’s circumstances. I was on a accelerated journey to dead end. I stayed awake, afraid that if I fell asleep I would only wake up to the same pain and anger. The thoughts sounded a lot like this, you don’t matter, and truthfully never did, you’re no longer relevant, everything you started has failed, and nobody cares. So I wrestled all night with the old me.
The longer I cried the more I fell deeper into the hurt me, the angry me, the abandoned me, the molested me, the suicidal me, the afraid me, the hated me, the younger me. Michael, don’t share this, people rather see the perfect me, the loving husband, the father, the entrepreneur, the artist, the designer, the minister, the mentor, so on so forth. But to tell you my story is to tell of Him.
This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long.
In my low place God reminded me of January 4th when He told me this is the year of the RESET. I took that word and through my creativity found a way to apply it to everybody else’s life. But this morning time stopped for a split moment when He said to me, “I told you to reset first, I am the God of the resurrection”. So today, I let the “me” I once knew go. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We can’t press toward the mark holding on the past. Holding on to the Michael that seems that once upon a time had it all together.
Die already! He is the God of the resurrection, so let’s RESET and rise again.
But God will rescue me; He will save me from the power of death.
Michael Burton is a multi-talented singer, songwriter, worship leader and owner of Michael Burton Design Studios located in Rochester, NY.