FOUR words my wife said when she thought I was being proactive in the housework: “Are you being amazing?”
She’s said it more than once. But recently I got to thinking there’s radical power in those words that always inspire me to do more housework. Now let’s get it straight. I’m no excellent-house-husband. As my wife will tell you, I am a ‘husband with potential.’ Big difference.
And, I am certainly a words-of-affirmation love-language guy, so I get it if you think, ‘what’s he on about?’
It’s the way she said what she said. The inflection, the humor in her mock surprise, the feeling in me (I’m winning), and her just being sweet. It was the way she used her eyes. All in four simple words that took mere seconds to communicate.
That’s what makes marriage isn’t it?
Such a moment of relational victory juxtaposes with the trying seasons where conflict reigns. It communicates the power of connection in intimacy.
Something one partner does to love the other without need of return. The other partner noticing something done for the right (loving) reason. The power of a simple, heartfelt complement, a hug, the giving of a meaningful gift, the spending of time, or simply a helping hand.
Four words as a soundbite; no matter how long it is till death parts us, we have moments like this to cherish. She got the thrill of having been funny, loving and inspiring at the same time. It inspired the day or two following for both of us. And it is immortalized in this short piece, for reflection in the future. It’s just part of what makes my wife the best wife for me!
Humor helps create intimacy in marriage when both partners are free to have fun together, especially within the mundane.
Steve Wickham is a writer and pasto holds degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counseling.