Yesterday, I had a conversation about a young man who appeared to have completely changed after he started dating this certain young lady. I was talking about the young man to a mutual friend. During our conversation, I made the statement that I only knew of the young lady this young man was dating. I didn’t know her name and I had never seen her before. Our mutual friend said her name is ____________. Check her out on YouTube. She has her own YouTube channel.
I immediately went to YouTube and attempted to watch a few of her videos. I didn’t watch any video in its entirety because she bored me out of my mind. There were two things she said that stood out to me though.
- “I left YouTube for about two months. Since I don’t have a job, I decided that the best thing for me to do was get back to regularly making YouTube videos for my channel.”
- “I have absolutely no idea what I want to pursue in college. I wish I could get a degree in sitting in front of my laptop making videos about myself that I can post on YouTube. Literally, all I want to do is make YouTube videos.”
If I can be completely honest, the girl was a nice looking young lady. It was very obvious by her video topics that she knows how nice looking she is. She seems to talk an awful lot about her makeup, hair, and getting her body back after having a baby. What’s sad is that she has not identified much more about herself beyond the fact that she is pretty. She has no job. She is not in college. In fact, she basically said she has no desire to pursue anything other than talking about herself in front of her computer. From my understanding, although they have a baby together, this girl and the young man I know are no longer a couple. I totally see why.
The same goes for Instagram. I went to the search page on Instagram. They were suggesting videos that I might want to watch. The first video that popped up was of an urban model hosting a party at a club. My curiosity led me to Google the average pay of urban model party hosts. I found out that many of these internet sensations are earning six figure incomes simply for showing up to parties/clubs, showing off their bodies, and saying a couple of words over the microphones. Club owners are paying up to $5000 per show to book these women. Besides showing off their physical assets, I don’t see what else these women are bringing to the table. This thought was the catalyst behind my write-up for today.
There are beautiful women everywhere. There are thousands, if not millions who are working hard and even twerking hard via social media to see how many “likes” they can get and “followers” they can boast about. They’re likely being lusted after by thousands of men. The problem is that they’re eventually going to get older. Their bodies are going to change. They will eventually desire to settle down, perhaps get married, and enjoy a family. Many of them will find that they don’t possess what men are looking for when considering settling down. Men, we must start communicating these three truths:
Men are Territorial
What’s ours is ours. We want our women to be very attractive. We like having a woman that others want but can’t have. We like getting to see what others wish they could see. We want our women to be able to wear what the social media models wear, pose like they pose, twerk like they twerk, but only for us. The woman who has allowed thousands of men to see what she has to offer has potentially, permanently, positioned herself to attract every man’s eye, but no man’s heart.
Men Want Life Partners
By “life partner” I mean someone who we can really do life with. Life is hard! We want a partner with whom we can navigate through the difficulties of life. What work are you/career are you pursuing? What can we build together? Can I trust you with my seed? Can I share my dreams with you? Do you have dreams of your own? Can I ask you questions that sex can’t answer and be confident that you have something of value to say?
Intelligence is Attractive
The word is Sapiosexual. It refers to individuals who find intelligence as another person’s most sexually attractive feature. Now, I wouldn’t dare be one of those lying, overly-deep, unrealistic Christians to tell you that beauty is at the bottom of the list of what men deem important. What I will say however is that intelligence is attractive. A big booty and a small brain is unattractive. My wife is a general manager. I love it when I get to hear her articulate her thoughts. I love it when I get to see her critically think and problem solve. I see her in this element when she is working, not twerking!
Brothas, please chime in and add to the list of things we need women to know. I’m looking forward to what you have to share.
Romel Gibson is a youth and college pastor, mentor, community leader, motivational speaker, musician, and songwriter living in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He serves as a full- time Campus Life Director with Youth for Christ, one of the largest non-profit youth evangelism ministries in the world. As a songwriter, his most notable works include L. Spenser Smith and Testament (Greater, Surgery), Tonya Baker (Miracles), The Anointed Pace Sisters (Praise and Worship), Myron Butler (Changed), Marvin Sapp (Never), Ruben Studdard (Holding On To You Lord), and Johnny Gill (Black Box).Romel has been married for 12 years to his college best friend Quanedra. Together they have been blessed with three beautiful daughters; Allayna Pilar, Moriah Kelis, and Rylee Addison.
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