Throughout our lives, we go through traumatic events that test us mentally and spiritually. It could be a painful divorce that breaks up not just the couple, but their families and friends. It could be the loss of a parent, spouse, child or any loved one to cancer or car accident. Or it could be the shock of being laid off from the job that you have given the best 20 years of your life. No matter the event, it hurts!
When you’re in the middle of the storm, it’s very lonely. I’ve been there… I know! You just want someone to lean on. You need someone to tell you that you will get through this. They don’t have to have all the answers. They just need to show compassion, show you that they care about you and want what’s best for you.
Unfortunately, some of the very people that you expect to be there for you will disappear when you need them most. Best friends and family members will literally disappear and even disown you when you are facing life’s most difficult challenges. Again, I’ve been there… I know!
These experiences have truly shaped my life and my relationships. Moments like these were tough on my spirit, but I survived because I was able to forgive others. Trust me when I say it’s not as easy as it sounds! But in the end, I had to focus on my pain and let it go. I knew that my circumstances were giving me the foundation and strength I needed to move forward. I also had to accept there are three types of relationships in my life and that I need to approach them accordingly.
What are the three types of relationships?
Cheerleaders – We all need cheerleaders around us. They have a knack for lifting our spirits and motivating us by cheering us on. However, the cheerleaders only stand on the sidelines and scream out their support. They won’t get in the game to help you win.
Coaches – These are the people in your life that give you all the advice in the world whether or not they have had personal experiences to guide their “wisdom”. Some coaches are supportive and encouraging like Phil Jackson, while others get in your face like Bobby Knight. No matter the style, they have the ultimate goal of getting the most out of you and giving you a successful game plan.
Teammates – Your teammates are in the trenches with you. They know their role and they play full out right beside you. They fight to the end and gladly shed their blood, sweat, and tears to help you. Whether you win or lose, they are still right by your side supporting you and encouraging you to keep fighting.
Life happens, so we have to be prepared to deal with the challenges that come our way. Relationships can be one of our biggest challenges during our most vulnerable times in life. I encourage you to surround yourself with strong teammates to give you support, find the right coaches to get the best out of you and figure out a better way to identify the cheerleaders so that you can use them appropriately.
Sedrik is an author and John Maxwell Certified Coach, Trainer and Speaker. A recognized leader in career and relationship coaching, Sedrik has developed and conducted hundreds of workshops and motivational keynotes on relationships, healing, and restoration.
His keynote presentations, workshops, and consultations are interactive, thought provoking and life changing. He uses real life examples and hands-on activities sprinkled with a bit of humor in his seminars and keynotes to engage participants. This ensures they leave with applicable ideas and action plans that are memorable and easy to implement.
A native of Nashville, TN, Sedrik holds a BS in Marketing from Western Kentucky University and an MBA with a concentration in Economics from Tennessee State University. He is the President and founder of Newbern Consulting Group, LLC as well as President of Phoenix Insurance & Financial Services, Inc. an Allstate Insurance agency in downtown Libertyville, IL. Sedrik’s success as an entrepreneur, he attributes to the support and motivation he receives from his wife Denise and their son Matthew.