Hypersexuality in its most common name is “sexual addiction.” It is often unidentified, overlooked, and commonly mistaken for simply an unusually high sex drive. In actuality, it is much more than that. Although I will not dig deep into the symptoms of sexual addiction, I’ll just say that it is most commonly overlooked and sometimes even praised in men. This dangerous approval of such behavior is affecting much more than the individuals who are the addicts.
This week, there has been constant talk about “#TeacherBae,” the Atlanta teacher who was labeled the sexiest teacher in America. This article is not to discuss whether or not I believe she has dressed inappropriately for her job. I see the role that hypersexuality has played in this narrative. In fact, take away hypersexuality and #TeacherBae is not a thing, the pictures wouldn’t have gone viral, and the Atlanta Public School System wouldn’t have reprimanded her. What do you mean Romel? I’m glad you asked.
I’ve seen comments from both men and women who think this teacher’s attire was too “sexy” for work. I’ve seen the other side of the spectrum where both men and women believe that there was nothing wrong with how she dressed. I understand both sides. What boggled me about this story is when pictures surfaced of “less curve endowed” women wearing the exact same dress. Their pictures were placed on both sides of the teacher’s picture to prove that they really were wearing the same dress. The dresses were different colors, but the same cut, length, and fit. Nobody would say anything about the dress to the other two ladies if they were teachers. The reason why is because there was nothing about their figures that would seemingly stimulate hypersexuality. Because teacherbae’s curves are undeniable, she now has to govern her life with “our” hypersexuality in mind. Let me add that even the picture of the jeans and t-shirt which could’ve easily been casual Friday attire was deemed inappropriate. This proves that the problem is more about her curves than her clothes.
To prove the point of hypersexuality being the driving force, another picture has surfaced of a woman who, by attire, works in the medical field. She is wearing scrubs. Unless you have some kind of fetish, you can agree with me that there is nothing sexy about scrubs. I don’t think Victoria Secret will be coming out with a scrub line any time soon. When asked if this woman’s attire was inappropriate, several people responded with a yes. One commenter suggested that this woman could go up a size in her scrubs and they wouldn’t hug her curves so much. In response to that comment, another person said, (I’m paraphrasing) “Look at her waist. She doesn’t have one. So, if she goes up a size in her scrubs, they will be too big for her and they’ll keep falling down. This was hospital issued attire and the only size that fits.” Should the entire medical field ban scrubs and come up with an entirely different standard of dress for its professionals just to assure that there is no risk? Should women who are built like this woman choose a different profession? I worked in a roofing plant for four years. We made roofing shingles. Our attire was jeans or dickie pants. We wore long sleeves. In fact, most of our stations required that we wear Teflon suits over our clothes. Yet, there was one woman who could not hide her curves through the clothes AND Teflon suit. Should she just quit? I mean, that entire industry is 95% male. What is she to do?
My answer is: NOTHING! We must begin to address hypersexuality instead of making innocent individuals have to view everything in their lives through the lens of hypersexuality. In my opinion, hypersexuality is one of the culprits behind homophobia. Homophobic people fear that homosexuals could be sexually attracted to them. However, it is unfair to assume that every homosexual is walking around desiring to have sex with every person who is of their same gender. In fact, many of them like who they like and desire to be in committed relationships. Many heterosexuals think the way they do because they know how many people they see in the course of a day who they have had inappropriate thoughts about. Again, a problem birthed out of hypersexuality.
I don’t have all of the answers. I don’t have any key points as to what I believe we should do to “fix” this societal problem. What I will leave you with is that just like any other problem, the first step to fixing the problem is to admit that there is a problem. If we can admit that instead of excusing, overlooking, and rationalizing it, perhaps we can begin to move on to real news and stop making celebrities out of individuals simply over their Instagram pictures. By the way, “Mr. Steal Your Grandma” is a victim too.
Romel Gibson is a youth and college pastor, mentor, community leader, motivational speaker, musician, and songwriter living in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. He serves as a full- time Campus Life Director with Youth for Christ, one of the largest non-profit youth evangelism ministries in the world. As a songwriter, his most notable works include L. Spenser Smith and Testament (Greater, Surgery), Tonya Baker (Miracles), The Anointed Pace Sisters (Praise and Worship), Myron Butler (Changed), Marvin Sapp (Never), Ruben Studdard (Holding On To You Lord), and Johnny Gill (Black Box).Romel has been married for 12 years to his college best friend Quanedra. Together they have been blessed with three beautiful daughters; Allayna Pilar, Moriah Kelis, and Rylee Addison.